Tuesday, February 27, 2018

The Day The Internet Died

It was another quiet morning. I had gone to the gym already and was back home drinking coffee and waiting for Deb to wake up. I picked up my computer to check e-mail and couldn't access it. I did exactly what any red-blooded American computer nerd would do. I set the computer back down and went out to my wood shop. A while later I heard a heart rending scream come from inside the house. I ran in wishing I had carried my 9mm with me. I guess I could have wished it wasn't unloaded and locked in my safe while I was wishing but I just wished I had it as I ran in the house expecting no telling what. I found Debbie moaning on the couch. There was no internet access and she couldn't start her day with "Heartland" on Netflix.

I mentioned to Deb that I hadn't been able to go on line earlier. She looked at me like I was insane while asking me....in a quiet, relaxed way why I hadn't done something about it then? She jumped up, ran to the router in another room and started the reboot process. I poured another cup of coffee. She then ran back to the den saying she couldn't get the thing to reboot. Here were her exact words: "You try to access on your computer while I call AT&T. Turn the TV on and set it on Netflix just in case it comes back on by itself. Hurry! Hurry! We have to fix this!" After a few more minutes, actually just long enough for me to finish my coffee, she came back with a sigh. AT&T was having a problem and they had no idea when they would be back up and running.

Before I tell the rest of the story I'll sidetrack for a minute. Debbie and I can't share computers. She does all kinds of things on the computer to make it "more efficient" and I can never find anything as a result. I bought my computer for one reason....to write. My software lends itself to my writing, saves automatically because I tend to wander off without saving, and makes my documents 'publisher friendly'. That's all I wanted. Well, I also wanted a friendly publisher but only the really expensive computers come with that software. It did come with other stuff but I have never used most of those things. Debbie's computer died a few months ago and rather than shell out another $2000 for a replacement Mac I offered to let her share with me. Within one day...and I am not making this up...within one day I couldn't find anything on my computer. I still have trouble finding this site and even though Debbie offered to "fix it" I'm not letting her touch it. She bought a new Mac. Now, back to the adventure.

After another short stay in the shop I came in to find Debbie reading. This is a past time she used to really enjoy. She read books constantly. Anyway, I was happy to see her lying on the couch reading. The TV was still set to come on if the service came back but so far the dragon still slept quietly. After a while it reared its ugly head and announced "Daddy's home". Debbie was so excited she immediately grabbed the remote to find "Heartland". I have some concerns based on this reaction. She might just possibly be addicted to TV. Or maybe she's just addicted to "Heartland". After it was over she turned the TV off and grabbed her computer. She advised me to get mine out too. She started going through all her programs and files looking for lost information. She found plenty and spent the next couple of hours repairing and replacing. At one point I heard her mumbling to herself. It sounded like, "mumble mumble mumble carry the one mumble mumble save mumble create file mumble mumble mumble E=MC squared mumble mumble.

After a while she looked up and pronounced her computer back up to speed with a few new dazzling files to help with efficiency. I was happy for her. She asked if I had found any problems with mine. I told her I hadn't really looked but it seemed to be okay. She asked what I had been doing all that time she was working on hers. I said, "I've been playing Solitaire"....mumble mumble move the black queen mumble mumble....

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