Saturday, May 16, 2020

Let's Dance...

Here we are....stuck inside our own homes with no place to go and nothing of real interest to do. What I would like to do is turn on some George Strait and dance around the kitchen with my favorite wife, Debbie. "Well why don't you?" you ask. As I grow older and the joints are beginning to be rebellious I could blame it on that but you all know it isn't true. I'm not dancing around the kitchen for one reason only.....I can't dance. I can't dance for lots of reasons but the root problem with my not dancing goes back to August 1950 when I was born to Ora Blanche Mihills, also known to me as "Mama".

I've never talked about this to any of my four siblings so I don't know if Mama treated us all the same or if she picked me out of the crowd to harass. We went to, and still do, go to the Church of Christ. I even served as an elder at one point so you know I am a faithful member of the Church. Back in the 50's when I was born and spent my development years, dancing was absolutely forbidden. You think Baptists were tough on dancing but let me tell you, if you so much as tapped your foot to music in the Church you were destined to eternal damnation....according to Mama.

Mama took her faith seriously and I'm grateful for that. Had it not been for her teaching and example there is no telling how I might have turned out. I might have even turned out as a Democrat. The thought gives me chills. Thank you Mama for raising all five of us so well. My only complaint is the dancing issue. I really loved to dance.

In elementary school we had music class every year. We were supposed to develop an appreciation for music. I did. I loved music. I loved the beat of it, the lyrics, the harmony. I loved it all. Now, after a while good old Miss Lardeaux wanted us to learn to use the music we appreciated to dance. I was all up for that and told Mama we were going to start dancing in our next music class. The first thing we were going to learn was square-dancing. I had no idea what that was but was eager to try it out. Mama said I couldn't participate. She told me to tell the teacher dancing was against our religion so I could "sit it out".

The next music class found me sitting in a straight back chair watching the entire class whoop it up while learning to square-dance. I saw nothing in the movements to suggest "square" because they all kept going in big circles, then little circles, and finally couples. Oh my goodness! I wanted to be a part of that so much. When my girlfriend, Judy, got paired up with Frank...Frank of all people, I almost cried. I promised myself I was going to learn to square-dance regardless of the circumstances.

When the next music class came around I lined up with all the others to dance. The teacher told me to sit down because dancing was against my religion. I told her I had been mistaken at first. Dancing was only forbidden in the church building so I was good for the classroom. I'm sorry Mama! Dancing and lying got easier as time went on and I sure enjoyed music class the rest of that school year.

When the next school year came along, we went through the same music appreciation classes and finally got around to the dancing. I jumped up there with everyone to "cut a rug" as any good nerd would say. There was a change though. There was another person sitting it out because it was against her religion. She was Sandy. She lived next door and she went to the same church I attended. I tried to not make eye contact with Sandy as I swung my partner do si do but she was glaring at me the whole time. When the dancing was over Sandy came over and sat down next to me. She whispered these simple little words, "You're going straight to hell". These simple little words brought about the end of my dancing. I didn't want to go to hell. My dancing was over! Sandy didn't think that was enough of a conversion though and told my Mama what I had been doing. I don't even want to tell that story but to say Mama cried. That broke my heart. I would never dance again.

I kept that promise to Mama all through the rest of elementary and junior high school. I wasn't allowed to go to school dances even if I promised I wouldn't dance. I couldn't go to parties because there might be dancing going on. I taught myself to almost play the guitar and couldn't go with my other non-talented buddies to play at parties because there might be dancing going on. Even if I didn't dance but played the same three chords I knew over and over, my music might cause someone else to dance...Mama evidently never listened to my guitar playing. Nobody could dance to my guitar playing...but I digress. High school was next for me and I expected it to be the highlight of my otherwise simple and predictable life. Thankfully high school wasn't the highlight of my life. I would hate to think the apex of my life was over by the time I graduated at seventeen.

It seems like every activity in high school involved dancing. "Hey Mihills, who you gonna take to the sophomore dance?" "Nobody. I can't go because dancing is a sin." "Yo white legs, you taking anyone to the prom?" "I'm not going to the prom. I don't dance." It went on and on like this. I missed out on everything it seemed. In my junior year I fell madly in love with a girl named....well, I'll just call her 'Rose'. I would do just about anything for Rose. The University of Texas at Arlington band invited the LD Bell band to a party for some reason. I was allowed to go to this because it was an official band function and Mama let me go. While standing around holding Rose's hand in my sweaty palm she said she wanted to dance. I told her I didn't know how to dance. She said that was crazy. Everyone knew how to dance. She dragged me out on the dance floor and we started "dancing". I don't know why dancing was a sin because this dancing didn't involve touching the dance partner at all. There was no "swing your partner anywhere". I felt like I was doing an acceptable job of keeping up with Rose despite the knowledge that I would spend eternity in the flaming lake of fire for participating. I felt pretty good about it until I saw myself reflected in a plate glass window nearby. I was so embarrassed I got off that dance floor fast, leaving Rose out there by herself. She broke up with me soon afterward and I eventually got over the hurt. I spent a lot of time asking the Lord to forgive me for dancing even if I couldn't see a thing wrong with it myself.

I was asked to take a girl to the Sadie Hawkins dance one year. If you don't know what that is I'll give a brief explanation. The Sadie Hawkins dance was an annual affair when the girls invited the guys to go out. I had been warned that this girl was going to ask me out by the girl's older sister. She warned me so I would be sure to say "yes".  The girl was very shy and didn't need the embarrassment of being turned down. The hint of personal injury was involved in the older sister's warning. I avoided both sisters as much as I could but finally got cornered in one of the hallways at school. She asked me and I said "no". I said no because I knew I couldn't go to a dance. One mistake had been enough. I have always felt bad I didn't explain my reason to the girl. She probably thought I just didn't want to go out with her.

The years passed and life got a little bit simpler for me. One thing that helped was my promise to Mama I would only date Church of Christ girls. They all seemed to understand about the dancing issue even if they didn't agree with it. I eventually married Debbie. Her dad had been the legal force during her raising. Dancing was absolutely forbidden by him so she and I were a good fit. Dancing never came up in conversation until my cousin, Mike, told us his daughter was going to have dancing at her wedding. Mike had been raised by my Mama's sister so he had similar problems with dancing but he wasn't about to tell his beautiful daughter there would be no dancing allowed. Instead, Mike and his wife, Nancy, along with Debbie and I, took some dance lessons. The instructor (another cousin,  Mary Wayne, not as righteous as us) knew we had no idea how to dance so she was easy on us. We learned how to do a few simple dance steps and had a great time learning. Then the wedding came along. Mike had danced with his daughter and it was beautiful. Everyone was on the dance floor...everyone except Debbie and me. Debbie froze. She just couldn't make herself dance in front of anyone else. She was only comfortable dancing with me in the kitchen. I was disappointed but sat with her until my cousin, Mary Wayne the dance instructor, grabbed me and dragged me out on the dance floor. I never had so much fun. I was at a dance, actually dancing, and had no guilt hanging over me...and then I saw Mama watching. I finished the dance and walked over to the table where Mama was sitting. Before I could confess my sins she said, "I am so glad you and Mike learned to dance. It looks like so much fun I wish I could do it". I offered to teach her and she just laughed. I spent the rest of the evening dancing with anyone who agreed. The only one to turn me down was my cousin Roy Lynn and I was just kidding anyway.

Debbie got tired of dancing in our kitchen after a while. It's not a large kitchen but has a good dance floor. We're talking about having all our carpet ripped up and replaced with hardwood floors in our den. We have both forgotten all the dance moves we learned so as soon as that new floor is down, I'm inviting Mary Wayne over for dinner and dance lessons!

I just remembered this and thought I should add it. When my Dad was in his last days, he and I talked better than we ever had. We talked about family, memories, regrets...it was a wonderful time I will always cherish. In one of those talks he asked my why none of us kids ever danced. I just answered that we never learned how. He said, "I wish you had said something. I was a great dancer growing up. I could have even taught you how to do the polka. I was the 'polka king' growing up". Thank you Mary Wayne for teaching me to dance!!!

1 comment:

  1. We weren’t allowed to dance and no mixed swimming. The exception was the time we spent in YMCA summer camp, where boys and girls swam together. I think having us out of the house in the summer became more important than the no mixed swimming rule. There was a ninth grade dance at school, all of us kids who went to church together were taken to the movies while the other kids in our class were dancing at a school party. The movie starred Maureen O’Hara, “The Battle of the Villa Fiorita”,it wasn’t even a western. In high school if I went to a party with a girl and dancing came it I would say that it was against my religion. Of course my wife is a dancer. If we are somewhere where there is dancing, people assume that I am jerk who won’t dance with his wife. They won’t believe I can’t until they see me try. When Mary Wayne was giving us lessons she told me my dancing was hopeless and when I danced with my daughter I should just shuffle around slowly.

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